Is Your Aging Client Supporting An Unsuccessful Adult Child?

Is Your Aging Client Supporting An Unsuccessful Adult Child?

Feb 16, 2017 | aging, financial advisors, financial capacity, financial elder abuse, financial judgement, handling money for seniors

You may have an older client who has an adult child living in their home. We are not talking about co-housing or multi-generational households folks choose for a variety of sensible reasons. This is not about the daughter who gives up work to move in and take care of your aging client. Rather, this is a somewhat hidden population of adult children who have never quite been able to support themselves.

There may be a mental health issue, substance abuse or other condition which impairs the individual's ability to reliably earn a living. Some of these adults have never succeeded in the workplace. Others have had a setback of some kind and never were able to regain or keep employment afterward. These adult children of your clients may be middle aged, yet dependent on your client for the basics of life: food, clothing and shelter as well as other benefits.

At AgingInvestor.com, we hear from the families, usually the siblings of the adult child who does work yet who receives free lodging and support from the parent. The common thread is a co-dependent relationship between parent and the "problematic" adult child. The parents may feel guilty about the unsuccessful child, they may be intimidated by that offspring or they simply may lack the courage to insist on some other arrangement. You may be thinking, ok, so what's the problem? My client is fine. She has good income. She can do what she wants with it.

Don't draw that conclusion so fast. People are living longer than ever and as clients live on, they may need to liquidate some things to cover their increasing care needs. The family home is one of the things that can be liquidated, especially when assisted living is a better place for an elder client who can't live alone anymore.

The family may agree that your client's home must be sold to raise cash to meet caregiving needs. No one knows what to do with the sibling still living at that home. They won't move out.

Without addressing the issue in advance, this can get ugly. We have seen in the last year alone, several families who were involved in formal legal evictions of the dependent sibling who refused to leave the home. Would your client want that? In other instances, there is a nasty, expensive probate fight going on over the sibling refusing to leave the home even after the parent passes away. The inheritance is held up because the house can't go on the market.

Isn't planning for the future your job? These very unpleasant scenes can be avoided with good strategy initiated by you with your aging clients, about the future of that unemployed adult child who has no plan for what to do next. The family needs to explore every option for the needy sibling. Can he or she qualify for public benefits, such as disability or government-subsidized housing? Do the parents have the means to set up a trust to provide for his or her basic needs? Is there any other option for support? Delving into these things takes time. The social services system can be complicated. The time to start talking with your client about her unsuccessful 55 year old son at home is not on the eve of a crisis. The client who has allowed the situation to go on must be persuaded to make a change before that crisis. No one wants to look at this issue but it can only lead to bad outcomes if it is not explored.

Here are three things you can do now:

1. Find out from any aging client if he or she is supporting anyone. That's basic. Then get more detail. How long has the unemployed middle aged daughter been living in your client's home? What will happen to her when/if your client has to leave her home or sell it?

2.  Connect with your client's estate planning attorney, with permission of course, and see what planning is done for an heir who is not working and does not have a retirement plan herself.  Has your client provided for this need? Is your client's cash going to be tapped for supporting an adult child? Has a trust been set up and what does it allow for your client to do for the adult child and when?

3.  Get advice yourself about what options your client's adult child may have, should your client become impaired and unable to give her offspring support in the home. The county's department of health services and department of social services as well as nonprofit community service agencies are good places to start. Encourage your client to think it through and not burden any other children with an eviction case or probate mess in the future.

By Carolyn Rosenblatt, RN, Elder Law Attorney, & Dr. Mikol Davis, Gerontologist co-founder of AgingInvestor.com

This Small Step Can Prevent Financial Disaster For Your Aging Clients

This Small Step Can Prevent Financial Disaster For Your Aging Clients

Jan 27, 2017 | aging, aging investor, declining health, diminished cognition, elder investor, elderly, finances for elders, financial advisors, financial capacity, financial elder abuse, financial judgement, handling money for aging parents, handling money for seniors, long term care, long term care insurance, medicare, senior investor, seniors finances

Do you have older clients who seem to be doing really well physically? Some of our aging folks are remarkably sharp and we can all be lulled into a false sense of security with them. This is a heads up warning about a real situation that you can perhaps help clients avoid by a simple step. Bear in mind that your older clients may be alert but still have trouble keeping track of the occasional bill. That can lead to a true financial disaster. Here's what happened to one person we met at AgingInvestor.com who could well be your client.

Ruth is 88, still quite independent, taking care of herself at home. She does her own shopping and cooking, drives and pays her own bills. Great at her age, right? But when it comes to memory, that's a problem from time to time. And forgetfulness plus an unforeseen glitch caused a financial nightmare for her. Here is what happened.

Ruth has Medicare and supplemental insurance. That extra 20% the supplement pays doesn't sound like a lot, unless you have a crisis and have to go to the hospital.

Ruth paid her bills by check each month. But sometimes her mail carrier made mistakes and put envelopes in the wrong box. That's just what happened with Ruth's supplemental insurance bill. She didn't pay the bill one month because she never got it. That was the glitch. Unfortunately that is exactly the month that she had a major health crisis and had to be hospitalized. She never knew that her supplemental insurer had missed a premium payment from her until they denied payment to the hospital for the amount due after Medicare paid the hospital in full. She was very upset and called them but they brushed her off when she told them what happened. She had never paid late nor had she ever missed a payment. They didn't care. Her bill for the amount Medicare didn't cover was over $80,000. They flatly refused to pay it.

She tried to call again and again but got nowhere. She sent a letter but received no response. Ruth's case is not the first time we've seen a situation when an older person fails to pay an insurance premium notice either because of illness, dementia, not receiving the bill or other valid reason. Some companies will allow reinstatement of coverage when the amount owed is paid in full. But Ruth's former insurer has been horrible; clearly to get out of the large bill they would have had to pay. They're probably happy about it but of course Ruth is distraught.

Now imagine that Ruth is your client. Most write checks by hand for paying bills, as they have done all their adult lives. Lots of people in their 80s don't use a computer or are only able to do so with many limitations. They don't use auto debit for paying bills automatically.

There is one thing you, the advisor, can do to prevent a disaster like Ruth's. Work with your aging client and their family to get them set up so that payments for ongoing, recurring expenses are auto debited from a bank account. This applies most especially to insurance premiums. As long as you are overseeing the finances for these older clients, think about this simple preventive strategy you can urge them to use to protect their financial safety. Sometimes no one thinks of it. Sometimes the family is also lulled into a false sense of security because the elder is so independent in other ways. Bill paying is a vulnerability and you can think of measures to make it less so.

That medical bill coming to a client because of a simple error, forgetfulness, or glitch can be a source of extreme stress. Take the time now to talk with your client about the prospect of auto pay for all of their recurring bills. Even if they are unsure of how to set it up, a family member, a friend or money manager can offer to do this for them. It's a small, basic measure but hugely helpful to prevent financial loss

A Lurking Danger You Need To Warn Your Clients About

A Lurking Danger You Need To Warn Your Clients About

Jan 12, 2017 | aging, aging investor, Alzheimer's disease, diminished cognition, elder investor, elderly, finances for elders, financial advisors, financial capacity, financial elder abuse, financial judgement, handling money for seniors, investor, scammers, senior citizen investor, senior investor, seniors finances, wealth transfer

A Lurking Danger You Need To Warn Your Clients About

There is nothing wrong with putting on a dinner or lunch for prospects while you give them a pitch about a product you like. But unfortunately, a free meal brings people out, especially older folks and they become sales targets for unscrupulous people. FINRA, in seeing how these seminars are too often a vehicle for fraud and exaggeration preying on unsuspecting elders, has issued a warning to seniors. You can be the messenger to provide a heads-up for your own clients about this.

Too many unethical people are using the setting of a free lunch to sell inappropriate investments.  The annuity scams are notorious for this. And the scammers love impaired elders who are so easy to fool.

As people age, about a third of them will develop Alzheimer’s Disease. Most of the victims of this insidious disease are women.  When the earliest signs of the disease emerge, research tells us that impairment of financial judgment is already underway. The predators have no trouble talking a senior who lacks the ability to see a scam coming into buying whatever they're selling. It happens every day, not just in the free lunch seminar.

FINRA's alert for investors about “free lunch” investment seminars is specific. Your older clients might not get that alert unless it comes through you. Here’s the gist of what FINRA wants seniors to know.

The FINRA Investor Education Foundation researched people over 40 to find out how many have been solicited with offers for a free meal seminar.  64 percent of respondents had been solicited, which means that the odds are, your clients will be among them. What the research also showed was that half of the sales materials contained claims that were apparently exaggerated, misleading or otherwise unwarranted. 13 percent of these seminars appeared to involve fraud, such as unfounded projections of returns and sales of nonexistent products

Slick and unscrupulous “advisors” and sellers have been at this for years, pitching unsuitable products. They’ve stepped up their game as the population ages. They want every target they can get. An easy way to warn your clients is to give them a one-sheet Client Update we have created for you. Get yours here or by clicking below and send it out to everyone in your book of business. Some of them are older clients and some have aging parents or grandparents who need to know about this.

You'll look good by showing that you care about what happens to your clients and they'll appreciate the message.

You can improve your expertise with your older clients in a book written especially for you, Succeed With Senior Clients, A Financial Advisor's Guide to Best Practices. Get your copy by clicking here.

Carolyn Rosenblatt, RN, Elder Law Attorney, AgingInvestor.com and AgingParents.com

Great handout: client update on the Free Lunch Investment Seminar

Click HERE To Download

Aging Clients and Secrecy About Finances

Aging Clients and Secrecy About Finances

Jan 5, 2017 | aging, aging investor, diminished cognition, elder investor, finances for elders, power of attorney, senior investor, seniors finances

Have you ever had a stubborn older client who told you he'd never talk about his assets with anyone but you? He doesn't think he'll ever need help in his life and he wants to be in charge. When you suggest a family meeting to let someone else know what to do in case he ever became ill and unable to communicate, he shuts you down.   This is all too common.

A consistent obstacle to communication we see in our work is the resistance of the older person to discuss finances with anyone, including their adult children or other heirs. The Great Depression led to secrecy about finances for many, as fortunes were lost sometimes overnight and once proud people became impoverished. Talking openly about money was just not done for those who grew up in this time of widespread devastating and sometimes life-ending financial losses. To this segment of our population, openly discussing money was considered rude, unseemly. Some of these Depression-era survivors remain reluctant to tell anyone in their families where their accounts are, what their assets are and what they want done with their assets in the event of incapacity.

Presumably when you have a long-term relationship with your client, she trusts you and trusts your judgment. That gives you leverage. You may know more about her finances than her family, her friends or anyone in her life. You are charged with the task of long range planning and you look ahead. In doing so, it is up to you to urge your client, gently, repeatedly and with ongoing persistence that she find someone she can trust to appoint to protect her if she has an accident, falls ill, or can't speak for herself.

Sometimes persistence pays. The power of your relationship is a tool to persuade your client to come around. This is not a situation to ignore just because your client resists. The older she is, the more there is at risk. Anything can happen to her health at any time.

If your client resists, we encourage you to repeat your requesting a week or a month. Do it in a tactful way and paint a verbal picture for her of what would happen if she were no longer able to speak for herself. Tell her how frustrating it would be to have to refer her account to your legal department for a decision about getting a court involved if she could no longer communicate. Tell her how upset that would make you feel. Express your own concerns and make it your problem.

We hope that every single person in your book of business has an appointed trusted other for you to contact. You may well need that and it can be up to you to urge your client to take care of that most important piece of legal business, the Durable Power of Attorney, if she has not done this. Diminished capacity can sneak up on your client and you'll need help.

It's a new role you have with the oldest clients. They are living longer than they thought they would and with longevity come the risks of impairment in all ways.

If you'd like to take a little deeper dive into managing clients with diminished capacity, you can get a lot of expertise in a one hour online course by clicking here.

By Carolyn Rosenblatt, RN, Elder Law Attorney

AgingParents.com and AgingInvestor.com

Podcast Interview: Common Challenges in Helping Aging Parents

Podcast Interview: Common Challenges in Helping Aging Parents

Nov 15, 2016 | aging, elderly, financial capacity, handling money for seniors, seniors finances

Interview: Common Challenges in Helping Aging Parents

Hello everyone. Welcome to better health while aging, a podcast that gives you strategies and tips about improving the health and well-being of older adults. We discuss common health problems that affect people over age 60, the best ways to prevent and manage those problems and we also often address common concerns and dilemmas that come up with aging parents and other older loved ones, like what to do if you're worried about falls or safety or memory or even the quality of a seniors healthcare.

I'm your host Dr. Leslie Kernisan. I'm a practicing geriatrician, so that means I'm a medical doctor specialized in geriatrics, which is the art and science of modifying healthcare so that it works better for older people, and for their families.

Today’s episode features a special guest and we are going to be talking about common challenges related to aging parents. My guest is Carolyn Rosenblatt. She is an attorney and a registered nurse, and for the past several years she and her husband Dr. Mikol Davis, who is a geriatric psychologist, have specialized in helping families resolve difficult issues related to older parents. They have a website at AgingParents.com.

Carolyn is the author of “The Family Guide to Aging Parents” and several other books about assisting older adults with legal, financial, and life issues. She also write a column about aging for Forbes.com.

I have read many of Carolyn’s Forbes columns over the past few years and also read her book recently as I was writing one of my own articles about advance planning for legal and financial issues. So I’m thrilled that she was able to join me today to share some of her insights on how to manage some of the common challenges and dilemmas that families often struggle with.

Carolyn, welcome to the show.

Questions:

  • Tell us about your practice and how did you come to specialize in families and aging parents?
  • What are the most common types of problems that people ask you to help them with?
  • Some common scenarios we can discuss:
    • People are sometimes concerned that their parent is losing mental abilities, or becoming “incompetent.” They also often complain that their parent is refusing to talk about the issues and refusing to go see a doctor. What are some of your suggestions to help families resolve this?
    • People worried about how their parents are spending money, and/or worried that someone else is influencing the spending (e.g. a sibling)
    • People worried about their parents driving
    • People who want their parents to plan for decline in the future but the parents refuse or avoid the subject
  • How can older adults and their adult children plan ahead to avoid many of these difficult situations? Can you share some favorite resources that are effective in helping people through this?
  • For families that have set up springing powers of attorney, there is often a requirement that a doctor or other clinician say the older person no longer has capacity to manage finances or whatever power is in question. But families often say they can’t get the person to the doctor/psychologist to obtain this assessment. Suggestions?
  • There is really a lot that families could and should do to plan ahead. If people are feeling really limited in time and energy, what do you think are the most important or high-value things to do, when it comes to older parents who are doing ok now.
    • Another angle on this: what are the things that people end up regretting not doing the most often?
  • You’ve written a lot about preventing financial abuse of older adults. What are some useful steps you recommend to prevent this from happening, or from causing serious financial losses?
  • You have a chapter on helping older parents from a distance, and you write about how you and your husband eventually hired a care manager, in order to have someone close to your mother-in-law. What do you recommend for people who feel they can’t afford to hire a care manager?
  • How can families deal with declining abilities, dementia, and physical dependency if there isn’t family to provide care or money to hire someone?
  • How have you and your husband planned for your own future? (We can skip this if it’s too personal.)

At the end I will tell people they can learn more about you and your special consultation practice at AgingParents.com.